Brian's Blog Brian's Blog
October 3, 2008 - benign
Received final word today, removed tumor is benign. Praise the Lord and thank you for all the prayers!
Brian.
September 24, 2008 - Tumor - Toomaa
So I have this egg shaped tumor on one side of my thyroid. It came up just 3 weeks ago and the doctor says that it has to come out. So on September 30 he is going to take it out – says no problem, I do them every day and I should be able to sing the next weekend. I didn’t get angry and ask ‘why me’ but kept thinking that God needs me to go through this for some reason.
Rod Stewart went through the same thing a few years ago. I would prefer a better example like Perry Como or Bing Crosby but I’ll cling to what I can.
First the terms must be defined correctly to set up the maximum benefit. My mother said, ”oh, that’s just a goiter.” “There were lots of people in my family that had goiters – big ole things growing on their necks.” Now this tells me some things, first mom’s not going to be real sympathetic about just having a goiter and second, her side of the family is probably the reason that I have it.
So I asked Beverly what I should call this thing. She is my director of all things medical – well all things. She says the doctor calls it a ‘mass’. That is a little better than a goiter but mass is not going to keep me home from work or even get me out of washing dishes. “No honey I didn’t get the dishes done – you know I got this mass.
So, I go for tumor. That sounds serious. Now tumor in my family always gets pronounced ‘toomaa’ like Arnold Schwartzenegger did in Kindergarden Cop. We watched that movie many times when the kids where small. He says it in that movie several times to one of the kids in the class that he is teaching while undercover. For some reason we repeated that toomaa several times over the years and for some stupid reason it is always funny.
We all just want to be loved and God is always there even though sometimes we don’t act like we need him until we do.
I need him now.
September 19, 2008 - New quote
I stumbled on a quotation that really struck me. All the stuff surrounding the National Quartet Convention last week set me up to appreciate this quote. It is from Peter Furler of Newsboys (yes, one of those heathen CCM artist).
“It seems to me there are three types of believers in this world,” Furler concludes. “There is the judgmental guy who spends most of his energy pointing out what is wrong around him and doing very little about it. There is the backslidden guy, who wallows in his own failures. Then there is the real guy, who just tries to love other people and be about the kingdom more than anything else. I want to be the third guy. I want to be known for loving others of different backgrounds and different beliefs no matter the cost.”
I spend way too much time as the first or second guy. I like the idea of someday becoming just the third guy! Wouldn't we stand out from the crowd then? We are supposed to be peculiar people.
Of course, then the first type guy would talk about us. Then I would have to tell him how superior I was and how he was this type one kind of person and I was better than him and....haaa....oh Lord we need you everyday.
July 29, 2008 - I miss my dog
I love dogs... all dogs and they usually like me back - maybe that's why I love dogs. My favorite breed is the Lab. They have a great temperament, and are very smart and loyal. My six year old black lab got sick recently and (long story) we had to put her to sleep. I've had many dogs over the years but Macy was my favorite. She would just sit and watch me...what ever I was doing. I know we tend to humanize animals too much but pets do provide much comfort to many of us. For the record, Macy never wore people clothes. God did not intend for dogs to wear clothes - just my Biblical interpretation. A few years ago a coworker made the comment "you must go home and kick your dog". He was referring to the fact that I never seemed to get upset at work and that I must go home a take out frustrations on my dog. Of course it was more a rhetorical comment but my immediate reply was "no, my dog loves me".
A few things stuck with me through the experience of losing Macy.
- While at the vet's office during our last visit with Macy a Grief Counselor came in and said that she was available to help us say our good byes and if we wanted she could 'say some words'. Now this struck me kinda funny. I'm a simple country boy...we never had need for a grief counselor on the farm where I was raised. Animals died and it was a part of farming. My brother Steve and I usually had the duty of dragging off a dead cow to some far away ditch. It didn't bother us too much... we really didn't talk a lot about it. Steve usually was eating a big piece of cheese that he left on the dash of the truck. It would get warm from the sun and oil would puddle on the wax paper it was on. I don't know why dragging a dead animal to the ditch would spur the cravings for cheese but it did. I said a polite "no thank you" to the grief counselor, "we just want to spend a few minutes with her". At that moment I felt my wifes arm around my shoulders and it really hit me. I knew why I didn't need a grief counselor, I already had one. Yet another role that my wife plays to perfection. I knew that Beverly would indeed know how best to comfort me while my dog was dying.
- The vet looked at us and said 'she is ready'. I don't know how Macy has told this to the vet but I understand this to mean that Macy is in pain. Macy is given a fast go-to-sleep shot, Beverly gives me a strong and long hug and feeling a need to fill silence and 'say some words' I muttered "God needed a dog".
July 14, 2008 - altruism/business/lessons
3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
We are asked occasionally to do things for free or for little reimbursement. Yes, it's a touchy subject for touring Christian groups. As Christians we are taught to be charitable - it doesn't belong to us anyway.
The business side of Master Peace is often a challenge or so it seems. Often we worry about meeting our commitments - yet we always do. OK, to come clean, I am the worrier in the group. The other guys tell me not to worry about it - that I should have more faith, that our needs are always met...but I can't help it.
In the past few years we've noticed something really neat. Every time we sing at one of these benefit events we leave with a spiritual uplifting and a renewed sense of purpose. Some connection is always made; an alzheimer's patient who stopped communicating long ago suddenly starts singing along with us on an old hymn and a sweet smile of recognition comes across his face; or a little boy sends us a hand written thank you note for helping raise money for his medical needs and attaches some stick-figure artwork (btw, it's still posted on the dash of the bus) or like last weekend, we meet a 2 1/2 year old girl with leukemia who has a more cheery and positive attitude about life than we do. Something like this always seems to happen.
We leave these events often teary eyed and babbling about the sweet experience or connection that was made and we wonder who was the biggest benefactor. When we are old and retired what memories will we take from the years of traveling? Will future grandkids ever want to hear my stories? But, I can imagine that the memories most treasured will be the ones of the free events that we do; the connections that we made with some sweet person and the lessons the we learned from them. The faces of those people we will not forget.
Brian.
May 12, 2008 - Using God in a Con
1 Timothy 6:7-12
7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
Recently we were contacted by a booking agent/talent agency about joining his group of artists. He said the right things and promised things we wanted to hear. He would book and promote us in areas of the country that we have not been. He would also prepare a demo that he would send out to radio in these new areas to help promote upcoming appearances. He would handle the contract with the venues and all the details of the tour - and all for 10% of the offering and nothing from the product table. He would require a $175. deposit from us that would cover his initial expenses of representing us. This would be refunded after one year. We needed to act fast because the demo with his artist was going to duplication next week. Yeah, this should have been a red flag but we were eager to expand our area so we sent a check. He called back and said that his bank would not accept the check (another big red flag). I told him that I've never heard of a bank not taking a check. It was from our business account from a national bank. But the next day I sent a cashiers check...this time for $225. See.... he was having a showcase for his artists at NQC and if we wanted to be included we had to pay $50. to cover the cost of the showcase. We needed to act soon because all of the prime time spots were filling up. Yeah, the red flag is smacking us in the face at this point and poking us in the eye with the pole it's mounted on.
So we join the Heaven Bound Talent Agency under the direction of Mr. Wade Weaver. We give him some weekends to cover. Meanwhile, the first check clears. He calls and announces that the bank did after all accept the first check and that he would send back the difference. He also cashed the cashiers check. More discussions about dates occur but we never get any bookings. The conversations with Mr. Weaver become more bizarre and his language is questionable. Although we did talk to some of the artists in his group initially, most had only a two or three week knowledge of Mr. Weaver too. We heard "seems like a great guy". Weeks go by and we never get a refund check for the amount that we overpaid. Each week we get a new excuse... "Well I turned it over to the office manager to pay" then becoming "I used the wrong address and it was returned". We never get our money back, we never get any bookings.
Many more lies are uncovered and many other groups are taken. He actually was selling tickets to an event that advertised several artist like Dottie Rambo and Charles Johnson. We discovered that they were never booked for the event. We talked to the manager of the venue and the deposit reserving the weekend had never been received. Last we heard of Mr. Weaver his address and phone number were changed. We received an e-mail from one of the other groups who has a member in law enforcement. He states....there are 87 offenses against Wade Weaver including hot checks, theft, scams, verbal abuse, & harassment. He is falsely advertising Southern Gospel Music groups and stealing their money...
So, we learn a lesson and move on. I don't want to mistrust people - especially in our industry. Maybe we should look at it as another lesson from God to not let our wants override our judgment. Beside the obvious lessons about checking references etc, how should we look at this experience?
Brian